Fixing Broken Souls : A Swasan Fanfic (Chapter 7)

Chapter 7

~~Only a Friend ♥♥ ~~

Swara’s pov ~~

“I didn’t leave him. He left me. . .”

Was all I could say. It was the most aching truth of my life. The images of Sanskar and Kavita flashed in front of me. The way he held her, the way she kissed him… It was clear, that he was in “love” with her, just like Kavita had said.

I completely forgot about daadi’s presence for a while. But I soon was snapped out of my catastrophic past, and broke the awkward eye contact I was having with Sanskar.

“Daadi. Go in. Have some sleep. You must be tired.” I said.

“I’m not tired!” She exclaimed. I wondered how come she never got exhausted; even after a long taxing journey all the way from Mumbai.

“But you will be, by the end of the day.” I stated. She sighed, shaking her head.

“You know, son?” She asked looking at Sanskar. He snapped his head up from the ground.

“There was a time when we elders used to tell you kids to sleep on time; but now, I guess its the other way round.” She mocked me.

“Daadi, please…” I mumbled.

“Okay bubba. This girl, I tell you. I’m going.” She said, shaking her head and gazed at Sanskar..
“Thanks a lot son. It was nice meeting you.” She added.

“You too, Daadi. And please don’t thank me.” He replied. I rolled my eyes, and urged daadi to head back inside. She walked away with her own pace.

I heaved a sigh of relief, and was about to follow her, when Sanskar’s voice stopped me. He called my name out, as I turned around.

“Can I talk to you?” He asked.

I wondered what was so important to talk about. I probably had an idea, but honestly, I wasn’t equipped to talk about it…about us.

“What?” I asked.

He let out a deep sigh, and walked closer to me. I took a couple of steps back. He stopped where he was, and our eyes met again.

“Don’t you think we need to talk? I mean, about the way things have turned out to be.” He said.

“Well I don’t think there’s anything wrong in the way things have turned out to be. They are perfect to me.” I replied bluntly.

“I know, I know, they are. Its just that, I don’t want this awkward silence between us. It makes me feel like you’re so close, yet so far.” He replied quickly.

“You earned this silence, Sanskar. How can you expect everything to be normal between us?” I asked, slightly annoyed by his cool body language.

He sighed and looked away. His hands rested on his waist. He looked stressed out, as he gazed at the sky.

“I don’t know who do you think I am.” He stated, more like to himself.

“I know exactly who you are.” I said.

He smiled sadly, shaking his head. “No, no, you don’t.” He said. He took a few steps closer to me, and this time I didn’t back away. “Because if you did, you would’ve given me at least a chance to justify myself.” He added.

A chance? There was nothing left to say after what I saw back in that room, three years ago. Let alone be giving him a chance to justify himself.

“Let me ask you something.” I said. This time, I wasn’t bothered about the distance between us. I took a step toward him, maintaining a distance of few inches between us.

“If I would have been in your place, would you have been able to forgive me?” I asked.

His expression changed drastically. His face fell, as he stared at the ground. Just like I had expected, he had nothing to say.

“You wouldn’t have forgiven me, Sanskar. You would’ve hated me forever.” I said, and turned my back to him.

As I was walking back inside, his voice stopped me again.

“You are wrong.” He said, aloud.

“You’re wrong about me, again. Yes, I would have been pissed off, if I were in your place. But at least, I would have given you a chance to explain. And most importantly, I would have never hated you.” He added.

I wondered whether all these words were just coming out of his mouth, or did he really mean them. After his numerous lies, I couldn’t afford trusting him a bit. But a little portion of my heart wanted to be able to trust him again. But unfortunately, it couldn’t.

I was snapped out of my trance, when he said,

“Now let me ask you a question.”

His words echoed in my ear. He was just a few inches away from me. My breathing hitched, as he said those words in my ear. I waited for him to continue.

“Do you hate me?” He asked.

‘Yes. Yes, I hate you so much, Sanskar Kapoor.’ I thought. But somehow, those words couldn’t come to my lips. I didn’t have the courage to say it to his face. So instead, I stayed quiet.

I pictured a small smile forming on his lips. I stood still, not even turning around to face him.

“That silence says a lot.” He whispered in my ear, sending shivers down my spine.

He was affecting me in a way he was not supposed to. I quickly turned around, away from his touch. He was still smiling, annoying me more.

“Listen to me, Sanskar. Just keep your stupid thoughts to yourself. Whatever you’re dreaming, is not right; and its certainly not going to happen.” I said, gaining back my voice. I was firm.

He just raised his eyebrows and nodded innocently.

“And one more thing; I do not love you. I hate you. Keep that in mind.” Was all I said, before walking inside.

***

Sanskar’s pov ~~

Sometimes silence can speak a thousand words. Only a moment of silence can answer all your questions. And that day, I got my answer.

Swara’s silence had said a lot of things. About one thing, I was positive — She didn’t hate me. But that also didn’t mean that she loved me. I had to gain her trust before winning her love. Although, I didn’t plan on doing that, since it was too late now.

It hurt to see her behave like that. The way she spoke to me with so much bitterness in her voice. The way her eyes turned cold and detached after seeing me. The way she flinched at my touch. All of it was killing me.

But then, a friendly reminder : I had brought this up on myself. I was the cause of everything. What made it all worse, that I could see no way to ‘fix’ it. And could I? I was ‘broken’ myself.

The phone buzzed my pocket. I took it out to see my mom’s caller ID. I smiled at the name and swiped the green icon.

“Hello.” I said pressing the phone to my ear.

“How are you, beta?” My mom’s voice came from the other end of the line.

“I’m good, ma. How are you?” I asked.

“How can I be good when I know my son’s not so good?” She asked. I sighed.

“Its okay, ma. You don’t need to worry about me.” I said, trying to sound as assuring as possible. But I could picture her all worried about me.

“Shut up. You can never lie to me.” She muttered, and after that a long silence prevailed. I didn’t know how to convince her to stop worrying. Catching my lies was just a piece of cake for her.

She sighed deeply. “Why did you go there? What was the need?” She asked.

“Ma, I had to. You know why.” I said.

“But what answers do you need now? For her, it’s the end. It should be the same for you as well.” She said in an annoyed tone.

I shook my head in denial, even though I knew my mom couldn’t see me. Even the thought of putting this to an end was hurtful.

“No. I don’t know what it is to her; but for me, this is not the end. There will never be an end to my love for her.” I said confidently.

I head her sniffing from the other end, and I knew she was breaking down. The two most important women in my life – my mother, and Swara. I had hurt them both in some way or the other. God, what kind of a son, a boyfriend was I?

“Mom please don’t cry. I-I’m sorry.” I said, holding myself together. I just wished I could run back to her and hold her on my arms.

“Ma, you there?” I asked.

“Yes. Look Sanskar, you’re my son. I don’t want you getting hurt in any way. I can see how much you love Swara. But ask this question to yourself; are you really ready to see her becoming someone else’s?” She asked.

A lone tear slipped down my eye as my heart skipped a beat. I imagined Swara with Shaurya; and that sight killed me. It was like a thousand knives stabbed to my heart, all at once.

“You are not ready, are you?” My mother’s voice rang in my ears, snapping me out of my awful thought. I couldn’t answer her.

“If you know how much its going to hurt you, then why are you staying there? Come back Sanskar.” She pleaded.

“Mom, I can’t. After whatever I had done to her, I don’t even deserve to be around her. But still, she invited me. That was only because she wanted me to be here. I don’t care how much it hurts, ma. This is the least I can do for Swara; and I will do it.” I said. It was for the first time in the past three years, that I had poured my heart out to my mother.

After hearing my words she ended the phone call with an okay and an I love you.

Staying back was my decision. I had to prepare myself for what was going to come. I had to ignore the pain, and put on a smile for Swara. Maybe I had no chance of winning her back. But I could definitely gain back her trust.

*
*
*

So there I was, trying to be part of Swara’s life again. But this time, only as a friend. . .

***

Next chapter : Blue suits you ♥♥

Hi guys. I hope you liked this chapter. Swasan’s first real talk after their meeting. Sanskar seemed happy after what seems like forever. He got his hopes back. He is indeed an optimistic guy in this fanfic. I love him a lot!

So the Mission Fix You is going to start… again. It will be a long mission and far more difficult. . .

And if you could check this mind- blowing ff by my friend and an amazing writer Bisha. Its a Swasan fanfic – THE YELLOW ROSE. More than that its a part of Faith series. I want people to read her stories as she always writes something deep and surreal.
Love ya!

Fixing Broken Souls : A Swasan Fanfic (Chapter 7)

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Fixing Broken Souls : A Swasan Fanfic (Chapter 7)

Category:

Indian Dramas

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