Bitter and sassy (Chapter 2) Chapter 2 ~ Good News & Bad News I’m in an excellent mood, like I haven’t been in so long. It’s like the sun is shining for me. Well, it’s summer, the sun is shining… kind of. Anyways, I’m just so happy because in three more days we leave to start with the tour. I miss being in the bus, playing video games as we wait to reach our next destination, goofing around in the venues during sound-checks singing to thousands of people almost every night, the adrenaline rush before the gig and after. It’s when we’re on tour that I remember why I’m in this band, why I signed for X-Factor to start with. I love music, I love singing, I love to be on stage. It’s great to record a new album, the fame, the pay, the trips… but the best part will always be the tour and this one is going to be even greater than the others we had before because this tour is on our terms. It feels like they finally accept what we think and want. Now our opinion matters and we earned that with hard work. Soon, Niall walks in, his cheerful being takes a seat next to Harry before greeting me. We don’t get the chance to make small talk when the doors burst open again and I smile until I see her. George, Ronald and Jeanine walk in along with Kay. Her messy short blonde hair falling freely around her pixie features, her smile big and mischievous and when she meets my eyes she winks at me. :-:-:- Memories & The Papers I’m still so mad I feel like I could set something on fire and enjoy the show. The idea of burning all Kay’s belongings sounds so tempting, but then I realise I can’t do something like that because I would end up in jail and that’s certainly something I don’t want to experience. Ruining Kay’s stuff won’t be worth a time in jail, plus, to get her stuff I’d have to get closer to her and hell no, I’ll never do that. So instead of messing with her things, I just get in my car a drive as far away as I can. At the end I end up in the flat Harry and I share. “Our divorce. You have to sign and no, you’re not getting the car,” I answer very seriously and for three seconds Alex only stares at me shocked, then she bursts out laughing. “I’m serious. You sign those and we’re done forever.” :-:-:- Charity & Prodigy Since we did One Way or Another for Comic Relief and it had such a massive success, we realised how much we could help if we actually took part of something. They realised that our help could actually make a big change, as we could influence so many people, and for as long as we could, we had to try. Since then, we’ve been very active members of many charities. Each of us is very involved with one kind of charity. Harry helps all animal associations, Zayn is doing his best with African kids, Niall helps all the charities in Ireland and I support kids with autism. Liam is helping as well, but he hasn’t foundhis charity yet. I’m sure he will. And then it hits me why Alex and Kay reacted like that and why Liam can’t take her eyes off of Tammy, the one with the reddish hair who is also staring at him shocked. ●●●● Hello.. how are you? .
We are going to start with the UK, then we head to the rest of Europe. Then it will be a big break and the rest of the world. Bring it on! I’m ready. The good thing about this tour —the other good thing, I know this tour has loads of perks— is that as we don’t have a show —or two— every day and we practically have every weekend for us, the tour will take longer and this time we take with us another bus with all the recording equipment so we can work on our fourth album on the road.
Amazing, right? I can’t wait.
So I walk with a humongous smile as I make my way towards the conference room. Management has asked us to come to share good news. I don’t know what else can make this tour better, but I’m excited as f**k! When I walk in, Harry, Zayn and Liam are already there, playing with their phones and their heads snaps in my direction when I open —rather loudly— the doors and make my great entrance. I should’ve played something on my phone to make it more dramatic.
“Well, someone looks happy today,” Liam comments still holding his phone and with an easy smile.
I nod energetically and take a sit next to him. “I’m really excited! By the way, where’s Niall?”
“Looking for his car?” Zayn jokes and we all chuckle at his comment about Niall. That boy doesn’t change, always a terrible driver.
“He’s on the toilet. He overslept so he was kinda in hurry,” Liam explains and I nod understanding perfectly. When your body claims for release, you have to listen to it.
Liam goes back to his phone and I see him scroll quickly, stopping from time to time and grimacing sometimes. I lean in closer trying to see what he is looking at and I see he’s on twitter. You can find everything there and maybe the whole thing of his blind date he had hasn’t blown out yet. Yes, that was a disaster. Liam told us that the girl was a total jerk and that he officially hated Grimmy for setting him up with her in the first place. We saw some pictures paparazzi took of them and I haven’t seen two people more incompatible in my life. Nor even Alex and Niall look so different. It’s like Liam and this girl, Tammy I think, are water and vinegar.
We don’t really know who this girl is but Alex made sure to let us know. Tammy is the lead singer in a band called Prodigy, apparently that girl band is the new obsession for her, Mila, Moni, Savannah and Hannah. Even Belle and Phebs quite like them. Alex made us listen to some songs and they are incredible, but I’ll never accept that out loud. They are a band made of girls. Pure evil on stage, plus she was really rude to Liam. She doesn’t deserve praises.
I pat Liam’s back and he looks at me for a second, time enough to whisper, “All women are the same. Don’t worry, you’re better off alone.” He smiles and shakes his head like I’ve just said nonsense, but I’m sure he’ll soon see I’m right about this.
“What the f**k is she doing here?” I snarl before Management’s team can sit down. I clench my fists in fury, fighting the need to stand up and blow a tantrum like a little kid because she is here, enjoying this because she knows I hate her.
“Louis, calm down. She needs to be here,” Jeanine says in her very mother-like voice. I frown at her, not satisfied with her words. “Calm down.” This time her tone is severe and I just notice then that I’ve risen to my feet so I sit down again, still tense. Kay is smiling, pleased with my reaction.
Ha! And then she says she likes me. Likes me, my arse.
“Okay, we gathered you here because we have important news,” Ronald starts saying, eying us all, though I still have my eyes on Kay, glaring daggers at her. I image the blades going through her chest. “As you know, the tour starts in three days and as usual, we’ll have a DVD coming out during the world tour that will be shot during the European tour.”
I take my eyes off of Kay and stare at Ronald, waiting for the rest. So far, nothing of this is new, we already knew this.
“Well, this time the DVD will have something different.” George adds, his smile sufficient and proud. “This time we’ll add a documentary in the DVD.”
We look at each other with surprised expressions and happy smiles. That sounds great! So far our two DVDs have only had the show and the video clips for extra material, so this is great. The idea is really exciting and for a second I almost forget Kay is there in the room with us. Almost.
“That’s great!” Harry says speaking for everyone. “The documentary will have part of the process of the new album recording, right?”
“Of course,” Jeanine answers with her kind smile. In all honesty, she is the one who takes care of us the most. Well, not take care in the look after way but in the way she really seems to listen to us and care about our opinions. “We’re sure your fans will love it.”
“Amazing, but I still don’t get why she’s here,” I state pointing impolitely at Kay. She chuckles, not affected in the slightest with the way I treat her. I wonder if she is immune or something like that.
“Well, you see she studied film making, and her résumé is quite impressive. Plus, she gets along with almost all of you,” Jeanine says this looking specifically at me.
“I’ll be in charge of directing your documentary,” Kay carries on and I swear my jaw hits the floor. “So this is the good news, I’m going with you on tour.”
For a second the world freezes. I’m sure I misheard her, this can’t be happening. This is not true. It’s a nightmare, I’ll wake up and the sun will be shining and everything will be fine.
But Kay smiles at me while I feel everyone’s eyes on me, expecting.
I rise to my feet forcefully, throwing my chair to the floor making a thunderous noise but I don’t mind, I don’t f**king care. “NO!” I shout hitting the table with my fists. “I f**king oppose to this. No, no, no, no and uh, let me think… what about NO?!”
This reaction doesn’t seem to surprise them, maybe they were expecting that. Fine! Traitors! How can they do this to me? Everyone knows I can’t stand Kay and if she comes with us I’ll end up murdering her. Is that what they want? For me to kill someone and end up in jail?
“She signed the contract, she is going on tour with you, she is directing the documentary. It doesn’t matter whether you like her or not, you have to be professional, Louis. This is your job, not kindergarten. You’ll work with her, not make friends. So stop acting like a kid and sit down,” Jeanine scolds me and, still tense, still about to throw the table at them, I pick up the chair and sit down, but I don’t stop glaring at them.
Then I look at Kay and I lose my temper again. She is smiling, enjoying the show, happy with how she is ruining the tour for me. I was excited for this, I was happy and now everything is ruined because of her. I’m about to jump and wrap my hands around her neck but Liam stops me, probably foreseeing what I was about to do.
“Why do you do this to me? What did I ever do to you? Just leave me alone! You’re ruining everything!” I shout at her but Kay never loses her smile.
“Louis, calm down,” Liam asks me, still grabbing me by the arm.
“Babe, don’t think so high of yourself. I’m not doing this because of you,” she speaks and I snort at her words. Sure, as if. I know she is only doing this to f**k everything up for me. “My career is very important and I needed a good and important project for my thesis. This is it. This will only boost my résumé so stop thinking that everything turns around you, love, because it doesn’t. You’re just one fifth of One Direction, you’re not the whole band. I’m doing this because it is a great opportunity for me, it has nothing to do with you.”
The way she says that I’m just a fifth of the band makes my blood boil in my veins, it sounds almost as an insult.
“But you’re enjoying how this infuriates me!” I accuse and she chuckles, her mischievous smile playing on her lips again.
“I must confess that seeing you this crossed about it is a plus, but again, I’m not doing this for you, Louis. And in contrast with you, I’m a professional. I can put things apart and what we have won’t interfere with my work.”
“THERE’S NOTHING BETWEEN US! Don’t even say something like that!” I shout, about to drag Liam with me. He tightens his hold on me and I’m breathing heavily. I know the lads are scared and worried for my reaction, I can feel it, but I can’t calm down.
“That’s enough, Louis!” Jeanine shouts louder than me and we all freeze. I turn to look at her, her eyes are severe and she looks really, really mad. “Stop behaving like a kid and calm down. It’s your job and you better do it right. During the tour just do your thing and Kay will do hers. Now go outside and breathe before you hurt yourself. Nothing you can say or do will change this decision, Kay is the best qualified for this job.”
“No buts!” She cuts me off and Liam pulls apart and I don’t move. I take a quick glimpse at Kay and even she looks taken aback by Jeanine’s reaction. “Go!”
Without any other word I leave the room, still holding my breath until I know I’ve put a big distance between Kay and I.
I can’t believe it, I can’t f**king believe she is coming with us. I was so excited for this tour but now I just want to go home and never leave. I don’t want to see her every day, following us, giving us instructions. I can’t stand that thought!
Ugh, this is the worst news ever!
Maybe I should move out again, Harry now is with Hannah and I’m sure they want to spend time together. I don’t really want to walk in and find them doing it or something like that. In addition, I really don’t want to see him being all lovey-dovey with her while I’m still around. The problem is that I can’t go back to my flat, there are too many memories there of my time with Eleanor, things that will only make me madder… and sad.
Everyone sees this part of me now, the part that I let them know. Yes, I’m angry and bitter, there’s no denial there, but I’m also hurt and heartbroken. Yes, still. How can I not be? I really loved Eleanor, I was happy with her. By the end things weren’t great but I never stopped loving her even when everything was going downhill. I guess a part of me still misses her, it misses being with her, watching films, cuddling, going out, making tea, joking, even fighting. I was happy with her and I thought she was, you know, the one. But I was wrong, because no matter what I thought, I wasn’t enough for her and she found someone better.
I feel really lonely now.
And seeing the guys doesn’t make it easier. I see them so happy, Niall and Alex closer than ever, Zayn and Mila with their perfect harmony and carefree relationship, Harry and Hannah, both so happy and always caring about the other, supporting each other so much. They are in blissful relationships, whilst I’m alone, resentful and behind. I used to be one of them… I still remember the time when Liam and I were the only ones with serious relationships, when the lads looked at us with longing in their eyes, hoping to have what we had with our girlfriends. Now they have it, even better than we used to, while Liam and I are completely alone. His relationship and mine ended in very different ways, but now we are alone nonetheless. The result is the same.
I see Harry and it hurts because I remember when he used to feel like I feel now, when all he wanted was someone to need him, to miss him. Someone to wait for him, someone who would hug him and say “welcome back, I missed you so much”. I remember the way he used to look at us, for that short period of time when he was the only one single in the band and now I see him and he is the happiest I’ve ever seen him. He has always been the smiley kind of type, but now when his lips curl up that smile reaches every corner of his face. It’s like he smiles with his whole body now and I know it’s all because of Hannah.
I was like him… I was happy, I was blessed… but now I’m bitter because I don’t have that anymore. I was dumped because I wasn’t enough for her.
So how can I go back to the same flat where we spent so many nights together? Where so many memories where created? I can’t. It’s easier to be angry all the time, it’s more manageable whereas sadness and emptiness are consuming and paralysing. My anger and hatred push those other feelings aside and that’s how I can move on. This is my way to manage all this. This is the best I can do.
+ + + + +
“What’s this?” Alex asks a few days later when I hand her a red folder.
We’ve gathered to finally start the tour, checking that nothing goes wrong and that everyone is around. I’ve avoided everyone —except for Harry, I live with him, after all— so no one can ask me if I’m okay or not about Kay going with us. I saw her a few minutes ago and, in a very manly manner if I may so myself, I ran before she saw me. I try to be happy about the tour, I don’t want her to ruin things even more. I made the decision that I won’t let her ruin this. This tour will be epic and I’ll enjoy it, even if I have to pretend she is not around.
I wrote those papers myself, just to make it more ‘legal’. We never got married or anything, it was a mutual agreement, and by mutual I mean I started calling her wife and refused to accept we never got really married.
“I won’t sign these, Louis. You won’t get rid of me this easily,” she says taking the folder in her hands and looking at the papers. She looks so amused but I don’t allow a smile to form on my lips. I’m serious about this.
“Don’t make me call a lawyer, Alexia Porter. Let’s do this in a civilised way,” I tell her and I wonder why am I doing this. I tell myself it’s because this is the only way she’ll accept it, but part of me loves the drama.
“I won’t sign it, Louis Tomlinson. You won’t get rid of me that easily,” Alex says in the same tone I used, but her face shows all her amusement.
“What’s going on?” A masculine voice adds and I turn around to see Niall looking at us confused. Alex’s face lights up and I feel like puking as he walks towards her, wrapping his arm around her waist and bringing her close, kissing her temple.
I remember the Alex we met, a really tough and tomboyish girl who wasn’t good at showing affection unless she was in her period, but now she is always all lovey-dovey with Niall, not minding the PDA and stuff. It’s like she’s softened since she met Niall. Yes, she still looks like she could kick all our arses any day, but when the Irish boy is around, she looks like any other girl… with dark clothes and a tough look. The point is that she doesn’t need to be high with so many painkillers to be sweet and loveable with Niall anymore and that disgusts me.
“Louis is trying to make me sign the papers for the divorce,” she says and I see the surprise in Niall’s blue eyes. He looks at me with a smile already playing on his lips and when he sees how serious I am, he bursts out laughing in the contagious way he has.
Alex joins him as she always does. She can’t help it; when she hears Niall laughing, she always joins him. It’s like a cause-effect.
“Why is everyone laughing?” I tense up when I hear that voice and I get so mad at myself because I recognise her immediately, no need to see her face. It’s like the voice in my nightmares, following me. I clench my fists and fight the impulse to attack her. That, or running away from her again. “Hi, Louis,” she adds standing next to me, leaning very close, her face a few centimetres away from mine. “You look so handsome today. I like when you leave your beard grow, it makes you look manlier.”
I have this impulse to shave right there. And when she gets even closer, my whole body tenses, ready for the runaway. Then her hand is on my face, stroking my jawline slowly, her fingers like feathers on my skin and a shiver goes down my spine so I shove her off and shake my whole body to get rid of that sensation.
“Don’t touch me,” I spat at her, glaring daggers at the blonde, but she only smiles.
“I can’t promise you anything. I just can’t help myself, when I see you I lose control.” Her voice is low and meticulous, like she is thinking carefully before talking. “I can’t wait to spend three whole months with you. I’m sure that by when the tour is over, you’re gonna be in love with me.”
Quickly, I look at Niall and Alex; both stopped laughing and now they look at Kay and I with interest in their eyes.
“I rather rip my lungs out of my body first,” I answer back but my answer only amuses her. She even steps closer and I don’t know why I don’t step back. Could it be that I don’t want to show her the slightest bit of weakness?
“Louis, don’t say that. We all know you secretly like me already, I’ll only make you accept it out loud,” she says with a sweet tone that sounds so different from the look in her eyes.
She keeps approaching me and now she is in front of me, her palms landing on my chest and slowly her hands sneak up to my neck and I still don’t move, I’m frozen.
“This tour is going to be great,” she almost whispers and I notice how she leans even closer to my face and that’s the moment when I react and I push her away, rather forcefully.
Kay loses her balance and she almost falls on her bum, but somehow she manages to stay on her feet and when her eyes meet mine, I see surprise.
“Louis!” Alex reprimands getting closer to Kay but she raises a hand to stop her. Kay’s brown eyes are on me, intent and careful.
“Don’t touch me again. Ever,” I warn her and before Alex or Niall can say something, I turn on my heels and leave. I saw the disappointment in their eyes for the way I pushed Kay, but she was invading my personal space.
I bet that if I had done that to her and she pushed me, no one would have looked at me that way. They would’ve sided with Kay anyways. Why is it okay for a girl to push a boy when she doesn’t want him near but when a boy does it it’s the worst crime ever? I didn’t really hurt her, I just wanted her away. It’s not my fault she doesn’t understand with words that I don’t want to see her, that I hate her.
“Argh!” I groan, not stopping for a second but running my hands through my hair in frustration.
Why can’t she leave me alone? Why does she try to make me fall in love with her? Why me? Why not Liam? I’ll never understand it! I’m rude, I’m mean to her yet Kay still doesn’t back off. What do I have to do to make her step aside? If I pretend I’m falling for her and her game, will she get bored and leave me alone? Maybe it’s only because I say I hate all women so I’m an impossible, something she can’t have, therefore something she needs. Maybe if I don’t seem so unwilling to be with her, she will leave me alone, but the idea of being nice to her, to playing her game sickens me.
I can’t do it.
But I know I’ll never fall for her, so eventually she has to get bored of trying and trying but never accomplishing anything. It may take longer, but I’ll be free of Kay Evans at some point and that’s all that matters.
By the time I make it into the bus where I’ll be with the lads, I’ve made a decision already. I won’t let Kay get to my nerves. I’ll pretend she is not around and I’ll wait until she gets bored and finds someone else to annoy.
Yes, that’s a good plan. This will work.
Radio BBC1 has started a program for celebrities to visit low profile charities that normally don’t get much attention, then they broadcast everything and that way they make people know of all the wonderful things others are doing to help. I believe it is amazing and really necessary and now that we officially kicked off our tour, it is a good opportunity to visit a new charity. All the media is paying attention to our first shows to see how everything is going, the fans are even more expectant of our movements, so there’s no better opportunity than now.
Today, after two sold out shows in London the past three days and before we head to other cities of the country, we’re visiting the charity You Matter. It’s a charity that helps kids with troubled infancies and awful families. Grimmy told us about it and we accepted immediately. No kid should live a miserable life and if there’s a way to make things brighter for them, we need to help.
The only bad thing about today is that Kay is coming with us as she wants so shoot some scenes for the documentary. And as Kay is coming, so is Alex who still refuses to sign the papers and that insists in calling me husband. Now I understand how annoying I was two years ago. The worst part is that Niall always supports her, always wanting to have her around. I wonder if he will get tired to have her nearby all the time. I know I would, I need my space. And that’s why all women need to be away, I don’t want them to invade my personal bubble like Kay loves to do.
After I pushed her the other day I thought she was going to leave me alone, but she hasn’t. As if, there’s only more determination in her chocolate eyes when she looks at me, like she is plotting something terrible. I’m sure she is. I try to ignore her all the time, but she doesn’t make it easy.
First, she makes sure to stop by Starbucks to grab a frapuccino and a carrot muffin. She makes sure to always sit next to me and I know she only wants me to look at her so she can tell me something, but I always keep my eyes locked on something else. Mostly on my phone, playing FIFA.
But when we arrive to the charity we find a surprise that we never expected. There we not only meet Grimmy and the camera man he brought with him, but also a woman in her mid-thirties with a professional and serious look, and four other girls about our age. One is blonde and really, really fit. She wears these jeans shorts that show her amazing and long legs. The other one has a messy look, her brunette hair falling rebelliously around her features, and she looks tired, sleepy. The other one is a black-haired girl with a very luscious body and the other one is really skinny, with brown-reddish hair in all directions, a perfect mess. They are all playing with kids, smiling and asking questions.
For some reason, they look familiar but I don’t recognise them, though it seems like Alex, Kay and Liam do, so I look at them confused. The girls with the boys look at us confused as well and only then Grimmy notices we arrived and approaches us with his signature smile.
“Lads! And ladies,” he bows his head to Alex and Kay who keep staring at the four girls. “I’m glad you could make it. Oh, let me introduce you to the girls.” Grimmy turns around and waves at the four girls to approach. “Lads, these are Leanne,” —the blonde one— “Emma,” —the one with the luscious body—, “Skyler,” —the sleepy one— “and Tammy. They are in the band Prodigy.”
“Girls, these are One Direction. Louis, Harry, Zayn, Niall… and you already know Liam,” Grimmy introduces us, grinning mischievously at Liam.
I know why they looked familiar and it’s because Alex showed us a video of them and their music, but I must admit that in person they look more… normal. On stage they are so different, but in person they smile and look completely normal, though Tammy does look a bit eccentric. I wonder why Grimmy set her and Liam together.
Then I realise. He was just playing a prank on Liam. That makes sense.
“Glad to see you, Noob. Did you miss me?” Tammy asks with an arched eyebrow, staring at Liam. Her whole body language changing into a very defiant posture.
This girl smells like trouble, she can’t be up for any good. The way she looks at Liam only tells me that she plans to do something awful. Out of all the girls in this room —including all the girls that are part of the charity—, Tammy gives me the worst vibe.
I feel this urge to put myself between them two and protect my band mate from this poisonous woman, but apparently Liam can manage her alone.
“You didn’t cross my mind once,” he lies. He’s been really mad at her, fumbling how annoying and rude she was in the date. “I delete sour memories from my mind and forget rude people. They are not worth it.” Many people gasp at Liam’s words, I’m very impressed myself but Tammy doesn’t react, she only seems amused by his words and smiles widely.
“Good, ‘cos I would hate to have you following me like a lost puppy.”
And I thought I had it bad with Kay. At least Tammy is not obsessed with ruining his life by following him everywhere… Hmmm… now I’m not sure who has it worst.
Grimmy bursts out laughing and not only Liam but also Tammy look at him murderously. I see both are very unhappy about what the host of BBC1 did. The other girls in the band seem very amused themselves, even the sleepy one. They look at Tammy with grins on their faces, as if they are enjoying the show.
“Uhm,” Alex speaks for the first time since we arrived there. “I’m a big fan of your music. Guys, you’re absolutely amazing, mind blowing! Your song Dead Alive is beyond words!” It’s interesting, seeing Alex in the fan-girl mode.
“Absolutely amazing!” Kay supports with the same enthusiasm as Alex and the four girls forget about us, happy with the praises they are receiving. “Big fans indeed.”
“Well, before Alex and Kay keep feeding your ego, feel free to go around and meet the kids here. We’re gonna go around shooting some scenes, asking for your opinions and things like that. Ask them what it’s like, get to know them. You know how it works. And again, thank you for coming, boys,” Grimmy interrupts before any of the Prodigy band members can say something in response to Alex and Kay’s words.
We all nod and we finally take different ways. I notice Liam goes as far away from Tammy as he can while she seems very entertained talking to Kay and Alex. That’s good, that way she won’t bother me and I can concentrate on the kids.
I avoid all girls in the charity, even the little ones. No matter the age, I don’t want to be near someone from the female population. The only women I can approach are Mum, my sisters and Lux. All the rest are the same, even if they haven’t hit puberty yet. One day they will become women and they will be monsters, so better avoid them now.
So I meet some boys between nine and fifteen and when they tell me their stories, I know that the unfairness in the world seems endless. I can’t understand how people can treat their own children like that. Jason, a boy of fifteen says that his father forced him to pick-pocket and skip school and when the counsellor at his school found out about him and tried to help him, his father hit the hell out of him and that’s how he ended up here. And when he tells me this story, his voice is so full of rage and sadness that it breaks my heart.
I spend the whole afternoon playing with them, telling them that life gets better if you work hard. I ask them for their dreams and it’s sad how just a few can answer. Most of them lost their dreams when their families took away their innocence and infancy.
I have to leave for a moment, just to pull myself together when a five-year-old kid tells me that his parents never loved him, that they always told him how unhappy he made them and they would be so much better without him, so he wanted to help and left. Someone found him nearly dead on the streets, his parents have never reported him lost nor have tried to look for him.
I can’t take it for too long, so many horrible stories, so many painful pasts that I need some fresh air, but when I walk outside the house and into the garden, I don’t expect to find Kay there, hugging herself as her body shakes slightly.
For a moment I can only stare at her, at her fragile frame against the sunset of that day. She hasn’t noticed I’m there too and I can hear her soft sobs. She is crying, like a normal human with feelings would do. She is showing a side I didn’t think she had. She always seems so indifferent to everything, but here she is, crying, hiding from the rest so they can’t see her like this.
This makes me wonder what’s in her past. Was she like this all the time? Why is she crying now but not when I insult her nonstop? But as curiosity rises in my chest, I push it aside. I don’t care about her. For all what matters, she can cry her eyes out; that won’t affect me.
I’m about to turn on my heels and go back inside, but she hears me somehow. I know I’ve startled her because she gasps when she turns around and when our eyes meet, I see panic in hers as she rushes to brush all the tears away.
“What are you doing here?” She asks and for the first time her voice doesn’t sound light and playful as she usually sounds.
“I have the same right to be here that you have,” I snap thought she hasn’t really attacked me.
I wait for her sassy remark, something that will make me bite my tongue but she looks away and sighs. “Whatever.” And then she remains in silence and this is the most surreal thing ever. I’m already used to her invasive behaviour, I’m kind of prepared for that kind of behaviour, but when she is like this… I don’t really know what to do. She looks so… human, so delicate and in need of help. “I can’t believe all what these kids have to go through. It’s not fair, it’s horrible.”
“I know,” I mumble even though I hate to agree on something with her, but I can’t argue about this.
She laughs humourlessly. “It’s so easy to ignore other people, people that are just an ephemeral part of your life. Their opinions don’t matter and they don’t have power over you… but when it’s your family… How can you just ignore them? Blood runs thicker than water, you just can’t shut your family out.” Again, she breaks and she turns giving her back on me and I can hear the sobs getting stronger. “Families are not supposed to be like this.”
“Not all of them are,” I say though I don’t know why I’m saying this. It’s almost as if I’m comforting her but I hate her, I should enjoy seeing her like this. She deserves this pain, but this is pain for others’ misery and I can’t be happy about that.
“True. I guess I need to call my mum again and tell her thanks for loving me the way she does.” Then she turns around and smiles at me. It’s not the same smile she always gives me, this is somehow shy and hesitant and it doesn’t annoy me the way she normally does. “See you inside,” she adds pulling herself together before walking past me and getting inside the house, leaving me there quite unsure of how I feel in that moment.
Ah, was this chapter long enough?
Anyways , thanks a lot for those fabulous comments on the first chapter. I really hope you are liking this story as well.
And bitter and sassy and masquerade of Liam takes place at the same time. So, after bitter and sassy, when I start masquerade, don’t get things wrong that Louis and Kay broke up. Actually , they both happen at the same time. So you will know.
Make sure you comment down below. I don’t know but some of my friends are not there. It’s okay.
Love you all and take care.
Bitter and sassy (Chapter 2)
Bitter and sassy (Chapter 2)
Chapter 2 ~ Good News & Bad News
I’m in an excellent mood, like I haven’t been in so long. It’s like the sun is shining for me. Well, it’s summer, the sun is shining… kind of. Anyways, I’m just so happy because in three more days we leave to start with the tour. I miss being in the bus, playing video games as we wait to reach our next destination, goofing around in the venues during sound-checks singing to thousands of people almost every night, the adrenaline rush before the gig and after. It’s when we’re on tour that I remember why I’m in this band, why I signed for X-Factor to start with. I love music, I love singing, I love to be on stage. It’s great to record a new album, the fame, the pay, the trips… but the best part will always be the tour and this one is going to be even greater than the others we had before because this tour is on our terms. It feels like they finally accept what we think and want. Now our opinion matters and we earned that with hard work.
Soon, Niall walks in, his cheerful being takes a seat next to Harry before greeting me. We don’t get the chance to make small talk when the doors burst open again and I smile until I see her. George, Ronald and Jeanine walk in along with Kay. Her messy short blonde hair falling freely around her pixie features, her smile big and mischievous and when she meets my eyes she winks at me.
Memories & The Papers
I’m still so mad I feel like I could set something on fire and enjoy the show. The idea of burning all Kay’s belongings sounds so tempting, but then I realise I can’t do something like that because I would end up in jail and that’s certainly something I don’t want to experience. Ruining Kay’s stuff won’t be worth a time in jail, plus, to get her stuff I’d have to get closer to her and hell no, I’ll never do that. So instead of messing with her things, I just get in my car a drive as far away as I can. At the end I end up in the flat Harry and I share.
“Our divorce. You have to sign and no, you’re not getting the car,” I answer very seriously and for three seconds Alex only stares at me shocked, then she bursts out laughing. “I’m serious. You sign those and we’re done forever.”
Charity & Prodigy
Since we did One Way or Another for Comic Relief and it had such a massive success, we realised how much we could help if we actually took part of something. They realised that our help could actually make a big change, as we could influence so many people, and for as long as we could, we had to try. Since then, we’ve been very active members of many charities. Each of us is very involved with one kind of charity. Harry helps all animal associations, Zayn is doing his best with African kids, Niall helps all the charities in Ireland and I support kids with autism. Liam is helping as well, but he hasn’t foundhis charity yet. I’m sure he will.
And then it hits me why Alex and Kay reacted like that and why Liam can’t take her eyes off of Tammy, the one with the reddish hair who is also staring at him shocked.
Hello.. how are you?